The Kind of Guilt God Doesn't Want You to Carry
Jul 17, 2026I have a very sensitive guilt sensor.
I used to feel guilty about… everything. (I’ve come a long, long, long way)
Guilt for leaving Nate to watch the kids so I could spend an evening with my friends.
Guilt for turning "I'll read my scriptures later" into "maybe tomorrow."
Guilt for treating chocolate cake like a food group.
Guilt for checking my phone while my kids were trying to tell me something very important about dinosaurs.
Guilt for giving my son melatonin because bedtime had become an Olympic sport.
It was like every corner I turned was something new to feel bad about.
Then I started building businesses, and that unlocked a WHOLE new category of guilt.
Guilt for hiring a nanny so I could work on my business.
Guilt for leaving Nate with all the kids so I could go to a weekend conference without a diaper bag.
Guilt for wanting enough money that the Costco bill wouldn't make me flinch.
And if you're an LDS business owner, I'll bet you've felt at least one of those too.
Over the years, I've learned that psychologists actually distinguish between 2 different kinds of guilt.
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Adaptive guilt: Some psychologists call this “healthy guilt.” It’s the guilt that comes up after you violated one of your own values, and the feeling motivates you to make things right.
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Maladaptive guilt: This is the unhelpful, unproductive, unnecessary guilt that shows up even when you haven't done anything morally wrong. It's the guilt you feel for having legitimate needs, setting healthy boundaries, or pursuing something good.
Things like
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Taking time for yourself.
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Saying no.
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Charging appropriately for your work.
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Pursuing a goal that others don't understand.
This really resonates with me because researchers have also found that highly conscientious and empathetic people tend to experience more guilt.
In other words...
The people who care the most about doing the right thing are often the people who also question themselves the most.
This is the “test” I use to determine whether a guilty feeling is from God or not.
I call it the “fruit test.”
You know the verse "By their fruits ye shall know them."
(I know. It’s the name of my podcast, and I use the word Fruitful all the time. I can’t help it. The analogy is just too perfect.)
It’s a pretty simple test. You ask yourself:
What has this guilt produced over the last year
Has it made me:
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more generous?
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more humble?
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more Christlike?
Or has it made me:
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play small?
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hide my gifts?
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stay financially stuck?
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question every decision?
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avoid opportunities to help people?
Alma teaches us that a good seed is known by what it grows.
“As the seed swelleth and sprouteth, and beginnest to grow, then… ye will say I know that this is a good seed; for behold it sprouteth and beginneth to grow.”
-Alma 32:30
We can use the same test for all kinds of beliefs.
If you've believed "wanting more money is greedy."
What has that belief grown?
Has it made you more generous?
Or has it kept you from becoming a greater steward?
If you've believed "I shouldn't charge very much."
What has that belief grown?
Has it made you more effective at serving people?
Or has it made your business unsustainable?
If you've believed "a good mom is always available."
What has that belief grown?
Has it brought more peace into your home?
Or has it left you exhausted and afraid to ask for help?
And one of my other favorite verses:
“And that which doth not edify is not of God, and is darkness.
That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day."
- Doctrine & Covenants 50:23-24
Not every guilty feeling comes from God.
If you’re not sure if a guilty feeling is from Him, I’m sure he would love for us to bring it to Him.
He can help you know whether it's Him calling you to repentance
or Him inviting you to let go of a belief that has been keeping you smaller than He intended.
See the Book of Mormon
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so you can build your business with greater faith, clarity, and confidence
without
👉 wondering if your business aligns with God's will
👉 carrying unnecessary guilt about money, ambition, or success
👉 trying to figure everything out on your own
.
